"AND THAT'S WHEN THE MADNESS STARTED!"

“AND THAT’S WHEN THE MADNESS STARTED!”

Everyone knows that some days are really good and then there are some that just make you want to crawl back into bed or maybe wish you had stayed there. I had a day like that last week:  Should have known how it would be one of those days of madness. For starters, when I got out of bed, I put on my shoes and stepped out of one causing me to fall into a nearby table. Repositioning myself back to standing, I went out into the hall only to discover that my dog had knocked over the floor fan and it was still running. Picked up the fan and headed down the hall into the kitchen—big mistake from the get go!

Opened the fridge to get my daily caffeine fix—iced tea [it was in a glass] and when I picked it up, I spilled it all over the floor! Still with half-opened eyes, I grabbed the paper towels and cleaned up that mess and had to remake the tea. By this time I was dizzy and hadn’t sat down yet and so I did:  Have a loveseat in my kitchen and a round table in front of it. The table is one of those beautiful blue and white mosaic ones but with all the stuff on it, you’d never know that—in fact, you can’t see any blue and white for the stuff that has accumulated on it. Must be ten bottles of nail polish, several small bottles of paint, numerous magazines and heaven knows what else. [I do know how that stuff got there!]

Set down my glass of iced tea [I drink it out of wine glasses—makes it taste better or at least I tell myself that] only to knock off a bottle of turquoise nail polish! And did the lid stay on it? Of course not. Got back up again to get more paper towels and some cleaning spray. I squirted it on the polish and had a huge turquoise smear all over the floor which took forever to get off. By this time, I was out of paper towels: That should have been an omen right there! And all of this happened within a thirty minute time frame.

Back on the loveseat and drinking my iced tea when I realized that I had the air conditioner set too low; grabbed a nearby blouse and stood up to put it on but one sleeve decided to fling itself onto a big vase on my kitchen table. When that sleeve hit the vase, another smaller vase inside of it flew out and landed on an antique butter dish breaking it to smitherines.  The big vase only cost twelve dollars, the smaller one a dollar and as for that antique butter dish? Priceless and in about forty pieces. I could tell this was a day of madness and it would be relentless and it was!

If I had a blood pressure monitor, I am sure it would have been sky high. Decided to get a Pop Tart [I live on those things] and after opening up the package, I dropped one on the floor and my dog just happened to be right there, grabbed it and inhaled it on the spot. No, I wouldn’t have eaten that one but after all that had happened, what would I expect?

Back to the loveseat again to sit down, drink my iced tea and read the morning paper when the phone rang: It was a friend but one of those who can talk your ear off and there is never any way to say “I have to go!” After listening for an hour and having a numb ear, I finally got those four words out and hung up the phone and reached behind me to put the phone back on the hook. But guess what happened then? I missed getting it back in its place and the phone fell down behind the loveseat!

Remember all that stuff on the table that I described? I had to move that table out to get the loveseat away from the wall; when I moved the table, tons of things fell off and I managed to secure the phone from behind the loveseat. By this time, I had pulled my back out and was looking very much like “Rumplestilskin” and feeling every bit of it and then came the task of bending over and picking up all that stuff that fell off the round table.

The day of madness did me in and it wasn’t even eleven o’ clock in the morning! Too many accidents and too much picking stuff up did me in. Knew darned well that if I stayed up things would only get worse and so, I went back to bed and stayed there finally going to sleep at some point.  Some days are like that and if you get several clues, take it from me:  Stay in bed cause the madness will get you!

Sherry Hill