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Friday, March 11, 2011


Ever Had A Bird Jump On You?

I have. In fact, I’ve had three jump on me in my lifetime----so far!

When I was little, I heard that if a bird got in the house it was a sign of a death. That was enough to strike fear in any kid.

But what was the sign for a bird jumping on a person? And to this day, I really don’t want to know for it has happened to me three times.

The first time, I talking on the phone, had my hair in rollers and my entire head covered up with a scarf except for my bangs. All of a sudden, I felt little feet on my forehead. Scared out of my wits, I threw the phone down with the person still on the other line and ran screaming around the house which was empty except for me and my 18 month old son who was asleep upstairs. Finding a mirror, I looked and saw a bird sitting on top of my head. As I screamed it flew around somewhere in the house.

My next door neighbors had four sons. I ran over, told them the predicament and they came over. In a minute’s decision, we decided to get my son’s Tinker Toy cylindrical box and lid. One of the boys found the bird hanging onto a picture in the living room; he trapped it in the box and took it outside.

I thought I was safe forever from having a bird on me.

Years later and being a teacher at Robins, my class among others was at Stonewall Jackson’s track for an entire “field day.” It was hot as all get out, as it usually was. I remember having on all brown: brown shirt, pants and ball cap. While cheering for my students, I felt something hot and pulsing hit the back of my neck. Scared to look [and I couldn’t turn my head around a la Linda Blair], I screamed; my co-teacher ran over and had to pull a big brown bird off of my neck and throw it onto the bank. It wanted, apparently, to be attached to me.

The kids thought it was funny and said since I had on all brown and was tall, that the bird thought I was a tree.

Time went by.

It was two summers ago and my granddaughter who was 8 at that time and I were out in the yard. All of a sudden I felt something gigantic [or so it seemed] hit my back. She screamed and I was running around in the street with who knows what on me!!! I heard her say “There’s a parrot on you!” No way I thought. Who has a parrot around here? And why would it decide to perch on me?

I can tell you why.

I am one of those unlucky people in life who attracts, literally, birds. Have no idea why and don’t want to find out.

The parrot flew off of me, thankfully, and I was able to hold it on my hand. My granddaughter went into the house and came out with a large, decorative birdcage that I have: we wrangled with no success to get the parrot in it. It was flying around like it had batteries when my daughter in law arrived to pick up my granddaughter; the parrot then decided to jump on her.

She screamed so loudly that it flew off and across the street.

Later, I found out that some people I didn’t know, who live up the street, were the owners.

About a week later, the parrot’s owner’s kids screamed at me: “You’re the one who tried to flush our parrot!” I have no idea who intended to do that; certainly wasn’t me. Holding a parrot is not on my top ten list of things to do------ever, much less even having one on my back.

It is said “The third time is a charm.” Let’s hope so at least for me with my experiences with birds. Love to look at them but never, ever want another of any bird species on me! And then there’s the story about a bunch of chickens that jumped on my bare feet while I was at our family farm---I was four. But that’s another story in itself.

Sherry Hill

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