“CLASS: YOU CAN’T BUY IT!”




If you read my story about uppity people, then you know that fakey ones really get to me. Class is not something that you can buy: You can acquire it and maintain it but no way can you fake it. Class doesn’t come on one level; it comes on many levels be it low-income, middle-income or high-income.

The most prime example of a person who faked class was “Mrs.Drysdale” on the Beverly Hillbillies! Yes, she wore the pearls and dressed the part but did she have class? Of course she was a television character but still how she portrayed herself left you knowing that she was faking it due to the fact the her husband was a bank president and she realized his importance as well as hers. Even the tone of her voice was uppity when she spoke to Jed Clampet or anyone she felt was beneath her standing.

Several years ago I was at a person’s house: She was pointing out all the real crystal she had [I have my own] and then I looked at her coffee table: It had a glass top and inside I saw three empty boxes of Godiva chocolate. I have never seen anyone do such a thing. She could see my eyes on those empty boxes and said, “Oh those were given to me as gifts.” Hm? I said nothing but giggled inside myself—oh my.

Another example was when I was invited to a dinner with my first husband. The woman who had the dinner had also invited a local doctor and his wife to join us. The table was lovely set with fine china, silverware and paper napkins. What class faux pas? She always tried to pretend that she was extremely wealthy and the conversation that night went from one “rich” thing to another. Tell you one thing: The doctor and his wife were not impressed. And the paper napkins were a dead giveaway of no class—that is if you are having a very formal sit-down dinner.

I am not inferring that paper napkins are wrong as I use them a lot but they have their place.

Some of my friends are very wealthy and they don’t put on any acts: They are as down home as they come. And in no way have they ever attempted to be fakey which shows that they have class. They don’t brag about what they have or do [although it is apparent that they do have wealth] and that is what class is all about—it’s being real and mannerly. When people are putting on an act trying to be classy, they get a fake tone in their voice. It becomes high-pitched and you can certainly hear it and recognize it—every time, whether it’s a male or a female. And they use huge words which no one has ever heard of before. This has always left me wondering, “What on earth?” And wishing I had brought along a dictionary to look up those weird words.

When you are out and about be on the look for the “Mrs. Drysdale” types or men who act like she did or do you have to look for people like this? Probably not and they are so pathetic!

Sherry Hill

"OCHRE: A WALL COLOR THAT BOTHERS ME"

“OCHRE: A WALL COLOR THT BOTHERS ME”



We are all affected by color: How can we not be for it encompasses everything in our lives. Some colors appeal to us while others send us over the edge. It’s a matter of personal taste; if you were to see my four red rooms [they are painted a cherry red] you might jump with fright and yet, to me this color is soothing. But my living room is a light tan, kitchen a hunter green and hallway an olive green: All of these colors are ones that I love and also wear a lot.







Ochre is a yellowish-brown color and one that I sometimes wear, use in artworks and instantly recognize when I see coffee with some cream. But when this color is on walls, it really bothers me. And I can tell you two specific reasons as to why it does: When I was about four, some relatives took me to an elderly woman’s house to visit. The minute I walked into this woman’s living room, I noticed the colors of the walls: They were ochre. Had no idea of the color name at that age but the more I stayed in that room with the woman and my relatives, the more frightened I got.



And so, I associated my fear of her and that room with the color. Later on as a teenager, I watched “Gone With The Wind” and the minute I saw the death scene of Scarlett’s mother, there came that sense of fright all over again to me for the lighting in that scene was ochre. Disturbed all over again.





No matter how many times I have seen this movie [ forty times would be a guess,] when that scene appears, I can’t watch it. It’s a throw back to when I was four and in that living room with the ochre walls. The coffee you see in this pot is one hue of ochre and if you were to add just a little bit more yellow, that’s the disturbing color I am referring to.




Color is a personal taste and something that at times we can’t control for we are forced to sit in rooms or see buildings around us. But we can control it in our surroundings and I will tell you that no way, no how will I ever have any walls in my house painted “ochre:” Never have and never will. I will paint with this color for it is one that is found in nature and is always around us. I will wear it for I like the color on me but to have it envelope me in a room is disturbing and brings a pall over my feelings. And you know the two reasons as to why. Bring on the color but never bring on “ochre” in my house!



Sherry Hill

"THREE TEACHERS TORNADO BOUND!"



“THREE TEACHERS TORNADO BOUND!”



The year was 1991 and for starters, we had one blizzard after another to ring in this year. One was so bad that none of us had an electric for a week and the temperatures were below freezing. It seemed as if the snowstorms would never end as they were relentless through some of March. All of us were so glad the snow was over to say the least and welcomed spring with open arms!

Spring was joyous and as it can do, it gave all of us a sense of well-being and hope. And yes, I was teaching school—second grade and I had two co-teachers. We had spent one year prior to this year of writing units for our “Whole Language” reading program as there were none for our grade level. There were many times when the three of us didn’t leave till well past 8 p.m.—mostly like every single week night. We would find poetry and short stories that fit out units [such as Homes, March, Weather and so forth] and then make copies and I had to type what we had written. The three of us made such a good team as we got along great and really concentrated to make the units a success.

Came May and we had just finished the “Weather” unit: To culminate it, all three of us showed the movie, “The Wizard of Oz” that specific day. The students loved it as did we and the main purpose of it was to watch for weather in it. When dismissal time came, it was sunny and hot and almost a cloudless sky. But we couldn’t leave for we had to work on another unit; that meant another long evening of work.

My classroom was on the back of the building and we were all across the hall in one teacher’s room that faced the street. I had to go to my room to get a book and saw a substitute janitor running the sweeper on the carpet in my room. All of a sudden, I heard a noise that sounded like a freight train was coming: I ran to my windows only to see a huge black cloud come crashing by. The janitor jerked the cord out of the wall and ran out of the school, leaving us all three stranded. Rushed across the hall where my two co-teachers were only to witness something I had never seen: A tornado! The trees were bent down the ground, little dogs that lived down the block from school were flying in the air and trees started crashing everywhere.

I could look way up the hill and see my house! And I saw my forty foot pine tree crash on my house, watched my fence go down like toothpicks and told my friends that I was leaving right then! “No way” they echoed. And they grabbed me and forced me out into the hall with them. [In retrospect, I am so glad I didn’t attempt to go home!] So here we were out in the hall for what seemed like an eternity. Curious me wanted to go to my room on the back and look and they came along with me. The destruction that we saw was unbelievable! The heavy swing set was knocked down, trees were everywhere and the electric had gone off in the school and elsewhere.

The tornado was over and although it lasted several minutes or longer, it seemed like it had gone on forever and ever.

The three of went down the stairs and out of the school to see utter chaos and the parking lot and street littered with trees and other things. I’m not sure how they got home but I couldn’t get up my hill to my house: I had to drive around and around till I could get my car through a small path. There was no electric but all you could hear was the sound of chain saws that men were using to cut up the trees that blocked the streets. This sound would go on for weeks upon weeks.

School was out for a week as there was no electric and downed stop lights, power lines, trees and massive damage in Charleston. It was determined that the wind was well over 100 mph and the first tornado to hit our town [we would have another one several years later but not as bad] and all people could do was to drive around, if possible, and survey the damage. Some neighborhoods were spared while others got the full impact of the tornado.



When things returned to some normalcy, we were back in school and people were back to work. I will never ever forget the look on my students’ faces when they entered the classroom for like me, they too had been in a state of shock the week before. The first thing I said was,” I think that it was a very bad idea to show that movie, “The Wizard of Oz!” One little girl said, “No you shouldn’t have and I don’t ever want to see that movie again!”

What a strange twist of fate that my two co-teachers and I would have shown that movie at the end of the “Weather” unit and then be caught at school during a real live tornado. We were the very first teachers in Kanawha County to have “sheltered in place” and I never wanted to live through that again ever nor did they.

Our next unit was “Animals:” We were extremely afraid to start it as the circus was in town. After all, you never know what might have happened!

Sherry Hill

GOAT NUMBER THREE!

GOAT NUMBER THREE!



With considering all the brilliant, devious minds we had in high school, I don't know how we missed this one.



At a high school in Montana, a group of students played a prank. They let three goats loose inside the school.



But before turning them loose, they painted numbers on the sides of the goats: 1, 2, and 4.



School Administrators spent most of the day looking for No. 3.



*I got this in an email and whether it’s true or not, it’s funny.



Sherry Hill

"DO NOT BUY THIS FOR A MOTHER'S DAY GIFT!"

As an only child, I always bought my mom something that she really liked every single Mother’s Day—that is till I decided to buy her something live, like a hamster! You would have to have known my mom: She had a beautiful apartment, didn’t like clutter and never had a pet for she couldn’t as by the rules. I was eight months pregnant with my first son and was downtown: Not sure how I got around but I did. And all of a sudden I had an epiphany—I would buy my mom a hamster for Mother’s Day! In retrospect, it had to be the “mothering instinct” that drove me to buy this animal.

I went into a dime store [those are way gone] and walked downstairs huffing and puffing and spied the hamsters. Found one that was tan and white, quite like the photo and paid for it. Then, I had to buy a cage for it as well as food. Carrying the cage with the hamster inside of it must have looked ridiculous since I was eight months pregnant.

It was about ten blocks from downtown Charleston to my mom’s apartment and it was March. The day was nice but after one block, I was in terrible pain trying to carry that hamster, cage and all. Heaven only knows how I made it to her apartment, but I did. There were two sets of doors to go through to get to her place and each time, I had to set down the cage and ring the bell. Seemed like an eternity till she finally opened the door.

You should have seen the look on her face! “What is that thing?!” she asked. I couldn’t speak as I was so out of breath; went into her apartment, sat down and placed the hamster, cage and all on her lovely glass-topped Chippendale coffee table. Sitting down was no easy task for me much less for what would ensue. My mom went ballistic on me, telling me that she couldn’t have pets [“How would your landlord know?” I asked her] and besides, she’d never pick one of those things! She didn’t even know what it was till I told her.

I thought I’d give her some time with the hamster and called my then-husband to come and get me and take me home. By this time, it was about six in the evening and I was not feeling well.

The thought of calling my mom entered my mind but so did the thought of hearing her scream at me and so, I didn’t call her till the next day. “How’s the hamster doing?” I asked in a not so strong voice. “The thing bit me and I took it back! It was up all night long going round and round and made a mess.”

My heart sunk for I thought I had given her something that she would learn to love and it would be company for her. Wrong!

That was a long time ago and my mom died ten years ago. It hit me after she died, that I no longer had a mom or could give her a gift for Mother’s Day. If that has happened to you, you know the feeling. Of all the gifts I ever gave her for that specific day, I always think back to the hamster episode and realize how dumb it was on my part to buy her something like that.

Let me forewarn you: Always ask first if your mom wants something living for a gift for Mother’s Day or you will be in big trouble like I was. And if she says no, abide by her wishes. Trust me, I know what happens if you don’t!



Sherry Hill

Grow Violets - wikiHow

Grow Violets - wikiHow

VIOLETS

Violets are my favorite flower: They’re free, have a faint smell and are easy to find—except in my yard. My yard has never had a single violet, ever. Other yards in my neighborhood have them and hardly any of the people who have violets could care less and yet, here I am the one who loves them and has none.

That’s more than strange. Or maybe that’s what happens to people who love them—they aren’t near for some odd reason.

Picking a bunch of them is no easy task if you happen to stumble upon those with short stems: You wind up bent over and have a hard time straightening up! Picking a bunch of them with long stems is no easy task either but it’s not quite as hard. Personally, I’d rather have someone pick them for me—preferably a young kid who would probably delight in doing it [probably not!]

Violets have that beautiful color [some are almost white,] shape and are dainty. Yes, they are abundant this time of year but like the things we want the most, they are fleeting. “Gather ye rosebuds while ye may?” I don’t think so! It should be “Gather ye violets while you can.” I’ve got mine right now in a little glass bowl and in a matter of days they will be gone. And I didn't pick them either-- my granddaughter did. Best of all, they were free!

Sherry Hill